Saturday, December 31, 2011


A few months ago I got a dose of “WTF just happened?!”

It was a normal day and I had left my house to run some errands. With CVS in sight, I was strolling across the parking lot minding my own business like I always do. I get on the sidewalk and hear an obnoxious car engine blaring behind me. I figured it was some high school hoodlum showing off his muffler, so I ignored it.

Within a few seconds, the noise had gotten extremely close to me. Startled, I quickly turned around, assuming it was one of my friends trying to get my attention. Several of my buddies have souped-up cars, so I figured it was one of them that spotted me.  

Instead of seeing a familiar face, a crack head in her mid-fifties nearly plows into me with her beat up car. She drove the left side of her car up onto the sidewalk and was literally a foot away from hitting me. The car comes to a screeching halt as she sat tilted in her car at a 30 degree angle.

Just wait, if that wasn’t crazy enough. The conversation takes the cake…

Crack Head: "Excuse me! Excuse me sir!"

This woman was a hot mess along with the worst smoker’s voice I had ever heard.

Me: Umm hi?

Crack Head: "Will you please help me out and lend me some money? I just got out of the hospital because of my cigarette addiction. I can’t afford my medication" blah blah blah

Me: I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t have any money.

Crack Head: She snaps back and goes “Give me some of your money!”

This bitch had the NERVE to start giving me attitude and demand I give her money!

Me: I'll give you some advice. Maybe you should stop smoking cigarettes and you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Crack Head: "How dare you tell me what to do you disrespectful young man!"

Me: You’re a nasty old bitch

A combobulated slew of curse words and odd grumbling noises poured out of her mouth as she revved her car up and sped off down the road.

I guess I’m on her shit list...


Friday, December 30, 2011


I like to think of myself as an adventurous eater. I’m down to try anything once (unless it’s something weird like bison testicles or ostrich eyeballs).


I HATE vegetables.

Why do vegetables taste so gross? I need to start eating them but I want to gag when my dad puts a bowl of mushrooms or collard greens on the table for dinner (to name a few).

Luckily I do tolerate a few vegetables. Spinach, carrots, potatoes, corn and artichokes. Any other veggie is a no go…

If you’re a picky eater like myself, have no fear.

V8 Splash Berry Blend is AMAZING! I love it so much I started chugging a bottle down in two days. My mom stopped buying it because I was jacking up the food bill. The next time it goes BOGO at Publix I’m buying 8 of them.

Another good substitute for a veggie lacked diet is vitamins. I take Gummy Vites. I think they make them for little kids but whatever. They taste exactly like Harbo gummy bears. I have to force myself not to eat handfulls of them.

Ensure and Instant Breakfast are both good as well. I like Instant Breakfast a little better because it doesn’t have a chalky taste that Ensure has.

If I continuously incorporate these supplements, along with the three vegetables I am willing to add to my diet, I think I’m good to go.

95% of what I eat from now on is whole milk, bread, eggs, tea, yogurt, fruits, vegetables, protein shakes, rice, chicken, pasta, fish and peanut butter. Oh and did I mention Reece’s, Snickers, chocolate chip cookies, pizza, corn dogs, cookie crisp and Twinkies.

Eating properly is harder than I thought. It’s taken me about two years of living on my own to realize that but I do now. I function so much easier when I eat all my nutrients.

Fast food is so good but so bad for you. I get cravings for Chik-fil-A, Arby’s and Wendy’s all the time. Chik-fil-A’s peppermint milkshakes are way too good. I have dreams about them.

Not that I’m trying to watch my figure or anything. I’m dying to put on twenty pounds. Fast-food would be the easy way to obtain my goal but those foods are packed with chemicals and preservatives. I don’t want to reach my goal and have diabetes or a clogged artery on the side.

Okay, maybe that was a little extreme but you get what I'm saying. My parents RARELY let me eat junk food growing up for a reason.

The more I eat healthy foods, the more I'll start to enjoy them? Wishful thinking lol

I wish you all a healthy lifestyle as we start 2012!

I wish I was as enthusiastic about embracing and eating apples as she is...

Friday, December 23, 2011


I've wanted this tattoo for years! I never told my family about it because I thought they would judge me for getting one. None of my family members have tattoos, so I knew it was going to be 'different' for them. Since it was a tattoo in remembrance of my grandmother Rose, my parents were super cool about it...and because I didn't tell them how big I was getting it. haha As soon as I got home and walked in the door with the huge bandage, they freaked a bit.

Did it hurt? Yes. Anyone who says a rib tattoo doesn't hurt is a straight up liar. It's uncomfortable.

Luckily, it was really peaceful in the tattoo shop. My artist and I were the only ones in the shop for the entire duration of my session, so he played Jack Johnson and created a calm atmosphere for me.

The second he turned that needle on, I shut my eyes and told myself, if I couldn’t see it, it wouldn’t hurt as bad. I quickly realized it was a lot more painful to inhale while he was in the middle of tattooing me, because my stomach was pushing against the needle. Every time he stopped to wipe the ink/blood, I would breathe in as much air as possible and than exhale as he began tattooing again. I got into a good rhythm and it  helped reduce the pain significantly.

Different sections of the tattoo hurt at different levels. The cross and bottom of the stem didn't hurt at all, but certain areas of the ribs were extremely painful. The worst section was the very top of the rose, near my arm pit. Oh snap that hurt.

The first night I had such a restless sleep. I was waking up with intense shooting pains in different areas of my tattoo. That sucked, but fortunately each night got less and less painful, applying Aquaphor and Lubriderm generously. After a week or so, the pain was gone and I was able to shower and sleep with ease.

I'm so in love with it! I planned on getting it colored it, but I'm so mesmerized by how it looks like this. Maybe I will get it colored in eventually. Or maybe I'll do a watercolor affect. Or maybe I'll just get some simple shading to give it more of a 3D affect, I'm not really sure yet. Right now I'm just enjoying it, as is. I wanted it to be simple, yet elegant and he completely achieved what I had in mind. I miss you Nanny! <3 p=""> 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Coming Out and Freeing Yourself

For some reason, I've been thinking about the coming out process a lot lately and how much it's transformed my life, so I'm going to revisit it. Coming out of the closet is hands down the best gift I have ever given to myself. If you're in the closet, just know you hold the key to your happiness. Don't expect everything to change over night, because coming out is a gradual process that takes time and healing. You're essentially nourishing your soul again. Heal it and it will bear fruit once again.

Coming out is the most freeing and comforting thing you could do for your mind, body and spirit. I used to constantly worry about having to censor what came out of mouth. I remember one time, I was driving with my parents and sister somewhere and I was afraid to take a nap in the car, with the fear that I would sleep talk and out myself. I'm not joking, that's how unbelievably fucked my brain was.

It feels so good to not have to worry about any of that ridiculous, mind-numbing paranoia anymore. I love being able to speak freely with my friends when a cute guy walks by and having the freedom to talk about dating, relationships and sex openly now. It’s vital to express your emotions instead of hoarding them.

I can remember every sensation, emotion, thought, and fear that flooded my brain on June 30th, 2010. The night I came out for the very first time to my older brother. Ross and I are eight years apart. Until he flew me out to Arizona to spend a week with him, back when I was in high school, I knew next to nothing about him.

He went off to college before I started 5th grade. The age gap prevented us from really knowing one another, until I was old and mature enough to kick it with him. He's now one of the first people I go to when I seek advice and he's an amazing guy. If you're ready to come out, chose someone that you're close to, that you know will provide comfort and reassurance. When you're first going through the process, you're fragile and you need to surround yourself around accepting and loving people.

The night I came out, I felt like I awoke from the Matrix of my own mind.

Friday, December 16, 2011

2012 New Year's Resolution

One thing that I am really realizing is just how much other people around me affect the things I think, do and say. The more I surround myself with positive, proactive people, the better I feel about myself. I feel like every person and friend was put into my life for a reason. They are here to teach me something about myself and vice versa, but honestly, some people aren't meant to stay in my life. I have a few friends that I need to distance myself from permanently. They aren't going anywhere in life. I guess it's just hard for me to let go of things...especially people. I want to help everyone and always be there for people, but I can only tolerate negativity to an extent. For instance, one person I know is always mean to me for no reason.

My friends keep telling me how much potential I have and I finally see that potential in myself. I have several changes to make and I am excited to tackle all of them. I have a long ways to go but I am so determined to become the man I know I was meant to become.

This is my New Year's Resolution

1. Stop hanging out with negative people
2. Go to bed by 11 p.m.
3. Eat healthy and gain 20 pounds
4. Work out five days a week
5. Pursue art seriously
6. Pray as much as possible and grow in my relationship with the Lord
7. Read the Bible. For first week read 25 verses, 35 versus following week
8. Listen to a confidence video everyday
9. Stop watching porn
10. Stop cursing
11. Be genuine to everyone. Be a great friend, brother and son to my friends and family.
12. Start networking and selling art
13. Stop trying to make everyone else happy
14. Open up to Mom and Dad more
15. Eat more fruits and vegetables and no more fast-food
16. Always tell the truth, no matter how hard it may be
17. Practice yoga twice a week
18. Make more genuine friendships with good people
19. Build self-confidence
20. Love myself

For the first time in my life I know what my priorities are.