Saturday, December 31, 2011

A CRACK HEAD ALMOST RAN ME OVER OUTSIDE OF CVS

A few months ago I got a dose of “WTF just happened?!”

It was a normal day and I had left my house to run some errands. With CVS in sight, I was strolling across the parking lot minding my own business like I always do. I get on the sidewalk and hear an obnoxious car engine blaring behind me. I figured it was some high school hoodlum showing off his muffler, so I ignored it.

Within a few seconds, the noise had gotten extremely close to me. Startled, I quickly turned around, assuming it was one of my friends trying to get my attention. Several of my buddies have souped-up cars, so I figured it was one of them that spotted me.  

Instead of seeing a familiar face, a crack head in her mid-fifties nearly plows into me with her beat up car. She drove the left side of her car up onto the sidewalk and was literally a foot away from hitting me. The car comes to a screeching halt as she sat tilted in her car at a 30 degree angle.

Just wait, if that wasn’t crazy enough. The conversation takes the cake…

Crack Head: "Excuse me! Excuse me sir!"

This woman was a hot mess along with the worst smoker’s voice I had ever heard.

Me: Umm hi?

Crack Head: "Will you please help me out and lend me some money? I just got out of the hospital because of my cigarette addiction. I can’t afford my medication" blah blah blah

Me: I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t have any money.

Crack Head: She snaps back and goes “Give me some of your money!”

This bitch had the NERVE to start giving me attitude and demand I give her money!

Me: I'll give you some advice. Maybe you should stop smoking cigarettes and you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Crack Head: "How dare you tell me what to do you disrespectful young man!"

Me: You’re a nasty old bitch

A combobulated slew of curse words and odd grumbling noises poured out of her mouth as she revved her car up and sped off down the road.

I guess I’m on her shit list...

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE MY AWESOME BLOG FOLLOWERS!

4 comments:

  1. AGD: People approach you because you are cute.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Ignorant Lady: How dare you tell me what to do you disrespectful young man!"

    I can only imagine how funny that must have sounded coming from someone like the woman you described. Anyways, Happy New Years! Hope it's the best year of your life so far!

    ReplyDelete
  3. As much as she deserved it, careful who you piss off, especially if they're not of sound mind . . .

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for that, just made my evening!

    ReplyDelete