Monday, August 29, 2011

I'll Never Forget You Lauren

This past Wednesday I went to the Counseling Center to reunite with my amazing, fantastic and unbelievably helpful counselor. I haven’t been so sad and upset since my grandmother past away when the woman behind the counter uttered the words

“I’m sorry sir, Lauren left.”

I just stood there and felt this wave of sadness wash over me. I wanted to plop down and start crying right where I stood. I had to fight my emotions and accept the fact she moved on with her life. At first I was angry that she didn't tell me she was leaving, but I realized she probably couldn't due to confidentiality reasons.

Besides my family members and close friends, Lauren helped me grow as a person more than any other person I have ever met in my life. She became more than my counselor, she became someone I looked up to in so many ways. She listened to me no matter what I said, she didn’t laugh at the ridiculous things I would say, she gave me the most amazing advice and I will forever cherish the time we spent together. I looked forward to our Friday appointments each week!

I would leave our sessions with such a boost of confidence and the biggest smile on my face. Lauren knows about my blog and has the URL, so if you are reading this, I want you to know you have a very special place in my heart. I hope wherever you are, that you're happy. I miss you so much! Thank you for helping me when my soul was broken.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


I went to a nudist festival last week! It was crazy you guys. I’ve never seen so many penises, vaginas and boobs in my life. Luckily, the majority of people there were in their twenties, but I did cross paths with a few super old naked people. And I even saw a nine month pregnant woman with her entire belly painted! It was interesting to say the least. Haha I loved every second of it, I am on a mission to become as open minded as I possibly can.

Michelle and I had never been to a nude resort before and we had a blast. There were local bands playing, a glow in the dark paint booth, a bonfire and a drum circle. I spotted 4 or 5 really hot naked guys which was AWESOME! Lol But what wasn’t so awesome was the ridiculous amount of mosquitos. My ankles, arms and back got eaten up by insect bites. I counted over 100 bites on my body the next morning and the constant itching is so uncomfortable. It’s all good though. This naked festival was out of my element. I’m sure you’re wondering if I stripped down…nope. Haha I was getting bit way too much, so I put my shirt back on. I planned on wearing my board shorts and painting my entire body but with the lack of bug spray, Michelle and I put our clothes back on. Patty was also there so that was cool! I think she was on ecstasy, not really sure.

I’m going to miss Monday nights with my best friend Rachel. Every week we got together and watched Teen Wolf together. We got so much closer this summer and she has helped me through so much of this journey. I love you Rayray.<3 p="">
I worked my final shift at Tropical Smoothie which was super sad. I grew to love all of my co-workers, to the point where we’re like a big family. One of them happens to be really cute. I’ll call him ‘D’. D just got hired about a week ago but here’s the kicker. His friends came into our work a couple days ago and told one of my co-workers that he was gay. At first she thought his friends were messing with her, but one of those guys told her that D just acts straight, but he’s really gay and that the two of them had even hooked up before. Who tells a stranger all this?

So of course Ashley tells me about it and I am really attracted to him. The problem is that we don’t know if his friends we’re lying or not…but regardless, what they said was messed up.

That same day I met D at work, I went over to his apartment and chilled with he and another one of our coworkers, Christian. That night I came out to Christian, who sent me this once I got home:

 Me: 'Hey dude thanks for being cool about my sexuality'

 Christian: "Naa dude honestly if ur gay ur the straightest gay guy I know lol like that honestly makes me take back a lot of things I've said about homosexuality. I appreciate the fact that you felt comfortable telling me and ur a freakin bro in my book."

Last night I get a call from Brown and Ashley, telling me that they we’re closing with D. So I drove over to TSC and I get so nervous around him. D seemed really excited when I got there and even answered Anna’s phone when I was calling her to let them know I was on my way. Once I got there, we locked the front door, got into the walk-in fridge and lit up a blunt. It was nuts!! The fridge is really small so the four of us we’re squished together, literally shoulder to shoulder…but who’s complaining? ;)

D and I even shot gunned the blunt together! Our lips were literally an inch apart. He took a hit from the blunt and blew the smoke through the blunt into my mouth. We finished the blunt and decided to head out.

I started rolling around on the floor by the smoothie station and I couldn't stop laughing. We were too high to stay there, so we closed up and talked in the parking lot. A cop drives by us and turns into the parking spot about fifteen feet away. Luckily nothing happened and he/she just sat in the car, but it ruined our high.

Afterwards, I went to Patty’s house and I was so baked. Of course, we run into her parents who were just getting home and I had to hold a conversation with her mom. haha I hate having to talk to my friend's parents when I'm stoned. I get so worried that they'll know.

Then I went to Rachel’s house for our final Teen Wolf night.

It was definitely an odd night.

The work crew went to the movies last night!!

Brown, Evan, Culo, Me, Renee and Stewart