Friday, September 9, 2016

Worst Date Thus Far

The date was a bust.

I got to the restaurant on time and he was running a little late, which I'll explain why in a moment. I walked in and immediately booked it for the bathrooms in the back, so I could text my friends and release my bladder...for the 10th time that hour. I grabbed a chair at the bar, next to the entrance and he said he was running late due to something creepy that just happened to him. I was somewhat relieved by that, because I figured that story would be an awesome ice breaker. After waiting for ten minutes and fidgeting around with my phone, I decided to make small talk with the pretty, blonde hostess.

I smiled at her and said "Hi, I know this is really random, but I'm meeting a guy here for the first time and I was wondering if you had any dating advice." Keep in mind, this was the first sit-down dinner date I've ever gone on. She was so cute and told me to smile a lot, laugh at his jokes, keep the conversation positive and to be myself. Easy enough, right?

Well shortly after I sat back down at the bar, he walked in and we shook hands. The hostess winked at me, grabbed two menus and led us to a booth that was more secluded, off in the corner.

We ordered waters and he began telling me about his creepy story. So apparently he noticed a puddle of water in his living room and he swears he didn't spill anything or create it. He checked the ceiling for leaks and couldn't find anything that would have caused it naturally. Furthermore, he lives alone, doesn't have any indoor pets and could not find an explanation. Than he realized on his way out of the apartment, that an empty water bottle was sitting on the ground in his entry way, along with a key. He inserted the random key into his door to see if it would open and it did not. He said it could have been a spare key from a previous owner, that they left above the door, which fell to the ground...or someone got into his place and is stalking him. He was genuinely scared and said he may even get a hotel room tonight so he doesn't have to go back home. His place is a three bedroom condominium and it's not an open floor plan, which made him even more freaked out, due to all the walls and possible places for someone to easily hide, if that were the case.

He lives in a more rural, yet highly upscale part of town, where snowbirds fly down during the winter months and live in their mansions, before heading back to NY or wherever. During the months in which the snowbirds are gone, he said there's a significantly higher amount of break-ins, since the houses/mansions are vacant. Aka this time of year. The sub-division he lives in is double gated and there are security guards patrolling the grounds, but realistically, that's just two walls to jump and a few security guards to avoid. Hopefully there's a simple explanation to all this and it's not some creepy stalker who somehow gained access to his home and is leaving signs behind. That would creep me the fuck out too.

As he was explaining this story to me, one of the first things I noticed, was that he was a bit more feminine than I expected. I think feminine guys are great, but I prefer guys who are more masculine. I guess I just assumed from his photos that he was going to be more masculine. Lesson learned, don't assume anything. The second personality trait I picked up on was how serious he was. I casually asked him the normal dating questions, like what are your hobbies, what's your family like, etc.? He could only come up with one hobby, riding horses and teaching people how to ride. He said it's his passion and he's turned his hobby into a career. I applaud him for that, but it's also good to have an array of interests. He never asked me what mine were...or hardly any questions for that matter. I almost felt like I had to talk about myself, simply because the conversation was so one-sided.

The server came back and I ordered a beer, to help me get through the next 90 minutes.

I don't know about you, but one of my biggest turn-offs is when someone starts voicing how much money they have. He made a point to subtly make it known that he's financially well-off. He told me that he had a mall job in high school, simply for the experience, even though he didn't need the money and got his manager fired. He told me he makes more money than his own mother. He sometimes goes weeks without talking to his mom and up to two months without speaking to his father. This made me question whether or not his parents were okay with him being gay, but I had no desire to probe that topic. From the way he spoke about his two siblings, it did not sound like he was close with them either. I find a family-oriented guy to be a huge turn-on and that was unfortunate to hear.

Some other red flags that were raised throughout the date included:
  • He wasn't very polite to the wait staff. I don't know about you, but I always make a point to smile and say please & thank you.
  • His zero interest in cooking. He said he's never opened up his oven or turned on his stove. He eats out everyday, for every single meal. His meals primarily consist of pizza, sushi, the same Jewish deli for breakfast, sweets and mac and cheese.
  • Texting/looking at his phone during dinner. He couldn't put his phone in his pocket for 90 minutes without looking at it? C'mon.
  • He lied about also being Italian, for no apparent reason. He's actually Cuban.
  • Our lack of similar interests...because there were none. haha
Granted, I do respect his hustle and for living out his dream, but he is so consumed with horses and that lifestyle, which seems apparent he'd do best in a relationship with a guy who is exactly like him. Someone who loves to be around horses all day, who enjoys the finer things in life and can handle his more up-tight personality.

Once we left the restaurant and hugged, he thanked me and said we should do dinner again sometime, before heading in separate directions to our cars. I don't know if he was just being polite or if he genuinely meant that, but I have no interest in meeting up with him again. I wish him all the best, but he's clearly not the one for me.


Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Gay Dating

Six months ago, I would have never felt comfortable enough to even consider going on a dinner date with a guy. I'm proud to say those days are over. I owe a significant chunk of my growth to a few of my coworkers who have been there for me when it comes to offering dating advice. I am so very thankful for them being in this chapter of my life.

I met a guy off Tinder last week who's struck my interest. He's a horse trainer. Yep, you read that right. Definitely an interesting job, one in which I know nothing about. I've been on a horse once in my life, when I was like six-years-old to pose for a photo. I need to find that picture, I probably look tense as fuck haha

He and I clearly live two very different lives...but opposites attract, right? We talked on the app for about a week, before swapping phone numbers.

Of course I read the last few texts to my coworkers and we were all laughing hysterically and trying to decipher what he meant by it. Hopefully we're able to finalize plans and meet up this week, because he seems cool and he's really handsome. A fellow Italian boy :)

I may or may not have mistaken that donkey for a baby horse, which he quickly called me out on haha Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that donkey resembles a pony...with just very large ears!
If he and I do grab dinner, I hope the date goes well and there's no awkwardness. Furthermore, one aspect of going on dates that makes me really uncomfortable, is when the check comes. I do not like when someone pays for me and I honestly don't have the money at the moment to pay for someone else. I know it's a very kind gesture when someone insists of paying, but can we just split the check, PLEASE?
All I want is a guy who'll whisper "let's go halfsies on the dinner bill" into my ear, is that too much to ask for?
Don't even get me started on first kisses. I can't even give hugs when I'm uncomfortable without stepping on their toes, let alone think about going in for a kiss. Baby steps, no pun intended.
Regardless of how great or awful this potential date goes, at least I'll have a story to tell you guys!
Much Love