Friday, September 9, 2016

Worst Date Thus Far

The date was a bust.

I got to the restaurant on time and he was running a little late, which I'll explain why in a moment. I walked in and immediately booked it for the bathrooms in the back, so I could text my friends and release my bladder...for the 10th time that hour. I grabbed a chair at the bar, next to the entrance and he said he was running late due to something creepy that just happened to him. I was somewhat relieved by that, because I figured that story would be an awesome ice breaker. After waiting for ten minutes and fidgeting around with my phone, I decided to make small talk with the pretty, blonde hostess.

I smiled at her and said "Hi, I know this is really random, but I'm meeting a guy here for the first time and I was wondering if you had any dating advice." Keep in mind, this was the first sit-down dinner date I've ever gone on. She was so cute and told me to smile a lot, laugh at his jokes, keep the conversation positive and to be myself. Easy enough, right?

Well shortly after I sat back down at the bar, he walked in and we shook hands. The hostess winked at me, grabbed two menus and led us to a booth that was more secluded, off in the corner.

We ordered waters and he began telling me about his creepy story. So apparently he noticed a puddle of water in his living room and he swears he didn't spill anything or create it. He checked the ceiling for leaks and couldn't find anything that would have caused it naturally. Furthermore, he lives alone, doesn't have any indoor pets and could not find an explanation. Than he realized on his way out of the apartment, that an empty water bottle was sitting on the ground in his entry way, along with a key. He inserted the random key into his door to see if it would open and it did not. He said it could have been a spare key from a previous owner, that they left above the door, which fell to the ground...or someone got into his place and is stalking him. He was genuinely scared and said he may even get a hotel room tonight so he doesn't have to go back home. His place is a three bedroom condominium and it's not an open floor plan, which made him even more freaked out, due to all the walls and possible places for someone to easily hide, if that were the case.

He lives in a more rural, yet highly upscale part of town, where snowbirds fly down during the winter months and live in their mansions, before heading back to NY or wherever. During the months in which the snowbirds are gone, he said there's a significantly higher amount of break-ins, since the houses/mansions are vacant. Aka this time of year. The sub-division he lives in is double gated and there are security guards patrolling the grounds, but realistically, that's just two walls to jump and a few security guards to avoid. Hopefully there's a simple explanation to all this and it's not some creepy stalker who somehow gained access to his home and is leaving signs behind. That would creep me the fuck out too.

As he was explaining this story to me, one of the first things I noticed, was that he was a bit more feminine than I expected. I think feminine guys are great, but I prefer guys who are more masculine. I guess I just assumed from his photos that he was going to be more masculine. Lesson learned, don't assume anything. The second personality trait I picked up on was how serious he was. I casually asked him the normal dating questions, like what are your hobbies, what's your family like, etc.? He could only come up with one hobby, riding horses and teaching people how to ride. He said it's his passion and he's turned his hobby into a career. I applaud him for that, but it's also good to have an array of interests. He never asked me what mine were...or hardly any questions for that matter. I almost felt like I had to talk about myself, simply because the conversation was so one-sided.

The server came back and I ordered a beer, to help me get through the next 90 minutes.

I don't know about you, but one of my biggest turn-offs is when someone starts voicing how much money they have. He made a point to subtly make it known that he's financially well-off. He told me that he had a mall job in high school, simply for the experience, even though he didn't need the money and got his manager fired. He told me he makes more money than his own mother. He sometimes goes weeks without talking to his mom and up to two months without speaking to his father. This made me question whether or not his parents were okay with him being gay, but I had no desire to probe that topic. From the way he spoke about his two siblings, it did not sound like he was close with them either. I find a family-oriented guy to be a huge turn-on and that was unfortunate to hear.

Some other red flags that were raised throughout the date included:
  • He wasn't very polite to the wait staff. I don't know about you, but I always make a point to smile and say please & thank you.
  • His zero interest in cooking. He said he's never opened up his oven or turned on his stove. He eats out everyday, for every single meal. His meals primarily consist of pizza, sushi, the same Jewish deli for breakfast, sweets and mac and cheese.
  • Texting/looking at his phone during dinner. He couldn't put his phone in his pocket for 90 minutes without looking at it? C'mon.
  • He lied about also being Italian, for no apparent reason. He's actually Cuban.
  • Our lack of similar interests...because there were none. haha
Granted, I do respect his hustle and for living out his dream, but he is so consumed with horses and that lifestyle, which seems apparent he'd do best in a relationship with a guy who is exactly like him. Someone who loves to be around horses all day, who enjoys the finer things in life and can handle his more up-tight personality.

Once we left the restaurant and hugged, he thanked me and said we should do dinner again sometime, before heading in separate directions to our cars. I don't know if he was just being polite or if he genuinely meant that, but I have no interest in meeting up with him again. I wish him all the best, but he's clearly not the one for me.



  1. Same anon guy!

    I just read your last comment and this! I'm sorry that it didn't go very well. See it as a learning opportunity instead. You found out things about him that you don't want in a partner which is great! Now you have a better idea of what to vet out next time. You even wrote it down so you have something to reference when you're not sure about someone.

    As for the second date, you have two options: 1) just don't message him again, or 2) text him first and say that you don't think you're a match. You don't have to go into detail on why, but if he asks, be honest without being mean (I wouldn't mention the fem thing, it's not a negative quality). Maybe it's his chance for some self-improvement.

  2. LOL! I should have just gone out with you for birthday drinks instead.

    How old were you when you met your hubby?

    1. I met ex-husband in 1981; I was 26.

      I met my current husband in 1991; I was 36.

      yes, we SHOULD have gone out for cock-a-tails and a meal and some laughs!

      PS - neither spouse has been my soul mate; that is reserved for a dear friend I met in 2001; he died in 2003.

    2. You've been with your current hubby for awhile! What's the secret to a long lasting marriage?

      We WILL have a dinner & drinks date one day!

      Awe, I'm so sorry for the loss of your soul mate. How did you meet your soul mate?

  3. That stinks that the date was a bust. :/ It's incredibly annoying when people only talk about themselves and don't at least return the questions, or are in-attentive. Lol. But if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be, right? Lol. Also, I'm right there with you in the "let's go halfsies" department. Haha. Halfsies guys unite! I at least hope the beer was good! 😋

  4. Ahaha wow that sounds terrible!! Firstly I think it is SO despicable for someone to lie that he's Italian like you?? Why on earth would someone do that..? Secondly he does sound very self-absorbed. I think being self-absorbed is quite a normal thing (we all are to a certain extent) but if one is an unaware self-absorbed person that's the worst. Thirdly...I agree with you too, that I do find myself more attracted to masculine guys but one of my exes was really quite feminine actually but I liked him still :)

  5. I'm surprised you managed to last 90 minutes. Congratulations! There's a lot of frogs out there but one day your prince will come.

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