Tuesday, November 22, 2011

People's Reactions to me Coming Out

“Did you get a girl pregnant?” –Ross

“Does this mean you don’t like working out?” –Monica

“I thought you were going to tell us you had cancer!” –Angela

“You’re either gay or you like me...” –Anita

“I knew it! I wish you came to me sooner, so we could have skipped school and talked.” –Patty

“There’s nothing gay about you.” –Tiffany

“Never use KY warming jelly when you’re having sex, it feels like hot diarrhea sliding in and out of your ass.” –Kathleen

“We need a codename for cute guys when we’re together! Buckcherrys!!” -Dorie

“I always wanted to ask a gay guy this. It’s not a choice…is it?” –Mom

“No fucking way! Guys, is he being serious?” –Sabina

“Oh, that’s cool” –Alexis

“Now that I think about it, you never seemed interested when we jokingly turned on porn with the guys.” –Jake

“Can I tell my mom that you’re gay?” -Ryan

“You’re an undercover gay.” –Jill

“Now I can run up to you whenever a hot guy comes into Tropical Smoothie!” -Anamaria

"I always wanted a gay best friend and now I have one!" -Rachel

“You know I love you either way. I don’t care about that stuff.” -Tyler

“He’s seriously too cute to be gay.” Julie and Sam

“You’re one of my best friends, how did I not know this?! My gaydar freaking sucks.” –Angel

“My gay friend and I were looking through your Facebook pictures to determine if you were straight or gay. We concluded you were straight. I’m like a fruit fly, the gay’s just flock to me!” –Kaitlin

“So you like that big black dick in your mouth, eh.” Kelsey

“Well at least I was your first make-out buddy. You’ll never forget me!” –Sammie

“Did you ever think I was gay?” –Kyle

“So are you still going to get married to a girl?” –Sarah

“That makes two of us, I’m bi! Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?” -Julia

Sunday, November 20, 2011


Several of my friends have dabbled with shrooms but I have yet to experience a hallucinogen. Strictly pot for the last four years, but I am so curious what that experience is like! It’s not that I have a burning desire to try shrooms, but if I got offered to try them, I probably would if I was with the right people in the right environment. It really intrigues me how ingesting a fungi can alter your perception on life. How could it not?!

Some people refer to them as the ‘creative and spiritual portal’. Here's a few stories I've heard through friends/people...

  • My brother’s ex-girlfriend said she and her friends got chased out of a farm pasture for picking shrooms. The farmer was so used to teenagers and young adults trespassing onto his farm to pick shrooms off the cow manure, that he would run out onto the front porch with a shotgun to scare them away.
  • A dude I worked with said he had a spiritual epiphany and was on the ground, in tears of joy.
  • A family friend, who attends graduate school at my University, said some of her greatest memories are while tripping on mushrooms 
The best shroom conversation I ever had was with my Speech Professor last year. We had to give a five minute informational Speech on any topic, so I chose psilocybin mushrooms. The teacher was walking around the room to approve each student's topic and I got pretty nervous when she got to my desk. I handed her my rough draft and her face lit up!

She crouched down next to me and started whispering that she used to do LSD and shrooms when she was my age! “Between you and me, I had my fair share of mushroom experiences.” Once she walked back to her desk, after talking to each of us individually, she announces “I can’t wait until ‘my name’ presents his presentation!" Hahaha

The class probably thought I was a hardcore druggy. I got a 100% on that speech and incorporated my drawings throughout the PowerPoint!!

Would you guys ever do magic mushrooms? If not, why? If you have, how was your experience??!

Friday, November 18, 2011


Here's a quick update on my life:

I haven't been going to counseling or the LGBT group meetings. The group meetings were really not what I had expected. I found bits and pieces of the sessions useful, but not enough to go back. I did make a friend though and ran into her at a party, so that was fun! As far as the one-on-one counseling goes, I just wasn't growing from my new counselor. I think I outgrew it, which is a good thing! If I need to talk to her in the future about something, I'll make an appointment.

For the last two months, myself and 300 other students met every Thursday night on a parking garage rooftop. Why you ask? Because we did a FLASH MOB! It turned out to be such an amazing dance and I ended up being in the front row, what what! (white shirt with the black backpack) I met some cool peeps and laughed the entire time at my inability to dance. Dorie and I (my future roomie) are on the same level, so we were placed in the less talented group. Bahaha

We cry over our shitty dance moves by going bowling

Story: For the entire month of October, there was a 21st birthday party every weekend. On one of those weekends, Molly was throwing a rager at her apartment for her roommates 21st. I met Molly, who immediately became my best friend in Advanced Writing for the Media class. She and I just clicked within minutes after meeting on the first day of class. People were naturally gravitating towards us to be in our clique. Humble brag.

Well it just so happens that my girl Shelby was also coming into town with her bestie Nikki and their two guy friends. To read our first sloppy, drunk trio adventure, click right here. Shelby went to my school Freshman year and than left, but she comes back to visit me every six months or so! Once they arrived, she and my nigga Nikki start raving about this stuff called Cloud 9, that's basically legal pot. I had no idea what they were talking about, so we drove to the Muslim gas station and picked some up.

We still don't know what it is haha The package says herbal incense, but what does that mean? We got back to my apartment and pulled out my rolling papers that I've never used in my life and I attempted to roll three joints, one for the each of us. We went outside onto my balcony and smoked them. I definitely felt something, but it wasn't the same as being high. I felt buzzed. We went upstairs to my room and started playing with this giant bag of condoms that Shelby gave to me. There were like 100 condoms in there and when I asked her why she had so many, she looked over at Nikki and just smiled. So apparently Nikki went into the Health building, where they have bowls of free condoms and jacked ALL the condoms haha we started blowing them up like balloons and drawing faces on them with Sharpies, like we're ten years old.

After that, we all started feeling stoned so we went on a walk around the entire campus to check out some soccer game that was going on at the fields and catch up.

The following evening Shelby used her fake and we got Four Loko's from the Muslim gas station. It's THE gas station to go to if you're under aged, they seriously don't care. It's the same gas station that we got all of our alcohol from Freshman year. If you have the money, you're 21 haha Once we got back to my place, we got ready for the party and chugged our disgusting beverages.

As soon as we walked into Molly's apartment, she screamed, ran up and bear hugged me. She is seriously the bubbliest and most kindhearted human being. I just love her. We ran into her kitchen and started taking SHOTS! That was Shelby and I's theme song Freshman year! We all stood in a circle and started doing Yager bombs and vodka shots. About twenty minutes after arriving, I already had to puke, so I ran outside and upchucked on the side of the apartment building, in some bushes.

As I was walking back inside, I was told that I saw Shelby standing on the front lawn, answering a phone call and I pounced on her out of excitement. We went down. She landed on her bad leg. It popped. I don't remember any of it.

After that, the last thing I remember is lying down in the parking lot next to Shelby's car and than being in my apartment again. I got sloppy and had one of the worst hangovers of my life. I woke up and felt like I got hit by a truck. This is the last hangover I've ever had. I went down stairs and found the two guys sleeping on my kitchen floor. Nikki was sitting on the couch drinking water and Shelby was sitting on the floor, against the wall with ice on her leg. I asked her what happened and she goes '"ou attacked me!" I seriously lost it and busted out laughing. We all did. She was so cool about it and said she fractured it so many times playing softball in high school, that it's easily prone to injury now.

They went to Denny's and I stayed in bed, with a killer hangover, until they left at 4PM.

I'm going to stop start drinking. I hate feeling like shit and wasting my weekends away in bed, feeling nauseas. My goal is to cut all fast food and replace it with more fruits and vegetables. I started going to a two hour spin class every Wednesday night with Angela and yoga on Thursday and Friday's with Kaitlin. Friday yoga is my favorite! The teacher is excellent and there are some beautiful guys that attend that class. It's hard to stay in a meditative state of mind, when there's so many studs there.

Tonight I went to a concert to see Casting Crowns live for my first time. They were really good live and had the audience laughing in-between songs.

And finally, some art updates. My drawing II class has taught me so much and I don't want it to end! My teacher focused the semester on us drawing skeletons. At first, I wasn't feeling it but the more I put my heart into the class, I enjoyed it.

My teacher chose me, among 11 other students, to be in her Mural Project class, that takes place next semester! We get to paint a mural of my mascot on the side of Sbarros, in the middle of the food court. I feel so blessed to be apart of that. The class takes place at her house and we'll be painting on her driveway and using the kilns in her garage.

So without further adieu, here are a few of my skeleton drawings...

Have a great weekend! Peace

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

How Do You Approach a Guy?

College campuses are swarmed with hot guys! Now that I am growing into myself and fully accepting my sexuality, I have been checking out other cute guys way more than usual. I'm so horny. My friend came up with a clever code name for checking out guys. 'Bird watching', so ever since, the name stuck.

My question to you guys: Is there a particular way to check a hot guy out when you walk past him, so you make it obvious that you're gay? This is a stupid question, but If I'm walking and I see a hot guy coming towards me, I start freaking out on the inside:



That’s a classic example of what goes through my mind when I walk past a guy I am attracted to.

I always remember people who smile at me, so I figure I'll start doing to the same to every cute guy I see and maybe I'll leave a lasting first impression on them.

Single forever.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


I need some reassurance right about now. I recently made a big change in my life. I changed my major from Advertising to Fine Arts. As happy as I am to be in a major I love, I am terrified I won’t be able to find a job once I graduate! I know these classes will enhance and improve my skills and my confidence as an aspiring artist.

I just wish someone in my family could relate to me. My dad is in Law, my mom worked in the medical field and now Law, and my brother and sister are accountants. I can’t relate to them at all.

I actually just got off the phone with my dad and he asked me, “So what kind of jobs can you get with a fine arts major?” That’s the problem, I’m not really sure. I have a go with the flow type of personality. I don’t research things to a serious extent like I need to, I just follow my heart. I need to begin looking for internships and networking with art companies, galleries, other artists, ect.

I have no desire whatsoever to become an art teacher. I dream of one day working for an art company and selling my artwork on the side, eventually becoming a well-known artist. That would be AMAZING!

I love art so much and I know I have the capability of making it big one day. I just need to trust in myself and work hard to achieve the things I want.

Here’s my latest drawing I did in my free time:

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Friday afternoon I came out to my friend Britt who I've have been dying to tell for a while now. She is easily one of the funniest human beings I have ever had the delight to meet. I ran out of the arena once my yoga class was over and met up with her at the Student Union. We always jokingly talk about hooking up and I find it hysterical. She was nice enough to ask me to her sorority formals all three years. Freshman year AXO Semi was one of the best nights of my life. I couldn’t go last year because her Semi landed on my birthday and this year I wanted her to have the opportunity to go with a straight guy.

Staying toasty and looking extra awkward haha

We sat down at a table in the Student Union and I told her almost immediately. She was so freaking cool about it! I swear, I would have never guessed just how accepting every single one of my friends are. I have the best support group.

Then she tells me that her older brother is gay!! She said that her brother uses an app on his phone to find other guys like himself in his area called Grindr. It definitely sounds more like a hookup app. haha After Britt and I talked for a bit, she had to go to work, so I headed to the library.

Who do I run into? My friend Tiffany that I went to high school with, whom I've wanted to come out to for awhile as well. I knew telling her was going to be interesting because she had the biggest crush on me in high school. She's adamant that we kissed in high school but I have no recollection of it and she still gives me shit to this day for not asking her to prom. Ha

When I told her I was gay, she would not accept it. I knew this was going to be her reaction, so it didn’t surprise me at all. “No! I don’t believe you. No, you’re not gay! There’s nothing gay about you! Stop lying to me!” haha

This went on for a few minutes, until she realized I was being serious. Unfortunately, she was meeting up with her friends so our conversation got cut short, but she sent me a text saying it doesn’t change the way I look at you! I’m sad you waited so long but I’m happy you told me :) Call me whenever. I’m serious!