Sunday, November 6, 2011


Friday afternoon I came out to my friend Britt who I've have been dying to tell for a while now. She is easily one of the funniest human beings I have ever had the delight to meet. I ran out of the arena once my yoga class was over and met up with her at the Student Union. We always jokingly talk about hooking up and I find it hysterical. She was nice enough to ask me to her sorority formals all three years. Freshman year AXO Semi was one of the best nights of my life. I couldn’t go last year because her Semi landed on my birthday and this year I wanted her to have the opportunity to go with a straight guy.

Staying toasty and looking extra awkward haha

We sat down at a table in the Student Union and I told her almost immediately. She was so freaking cool about it! I swear, I would have never guessed just how accepting every single one of my friends are. I have the best support group.

Then she tells me that her older brother is gay!! She said that her brother uses an app on his phone to find other guys like himself in his area called Grindr. It definitely sounds more like a hookup app. haha After Britt and I talked for a bit, she had to go to work, so I headed to the library.

Who do I run into? My friend Tiffany that I went to high school with, whom I've wanted to come out to for awhile as well. I knew telling her was going to be interesting because she had the biggest crush on me in high school. She's adamant that we kissed in high school but I have no recollection of it and she still gives me shit to this day for not asking her to prom. Ha

When I told her I was gay, she would not accept it. I knew this was going to be her reaction, so it didn’t surprise me at all. “No! I don’t believe you. No, you’re not gay! There’s nothing gay about you! Stop lying to me!” haha

This went on for a few minutes, until she realized I was being serious. Unfortunately, she was meeting up with her friends so our conversation got cut short, but she sent me a text saying it doesn’t change the way I look at you! I’m sad you waited so long but I’m happy you told me :) Call me whenever. I’m serious!


  1. I know what you mean about being picky. If I'm just not feeling I don't see the point of trying to be with the guy. Sometimes I think I should relax a little and just give some guys a chance, but can't bring myself to. It would just feel really awkward I think if that initial interest wasn't there.

  2. dude, same here. i cant believe my friends have been so cool about! and i think im too picky as well. my teammates are always telling me i need a 'slump buster' (just a guy to hook up with since its been a while haha) but i dont want to settle for just anyone especially if im not attracted to him. plus Immortals look too sick!! i cant wait for that to come out

  3. Photographs are not the same as real life. There are plenty of people you may pass over on Grindr now that, in real life, you would feel differently about. Yes, the internet makes it easier to find people, but because searching is customizable, it's very easy to start chasing after something that doesn't exist or is unattainable. Pretty much every gay man in the world wants someone muscular, tall jock-type.

  4. AGD: Since you are new to this, it isn't surprising that you are initially attracted by looks. But it is still very true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You might find someone attractive that others consider so-so but let you own opinion be your guide. You like what you like and as you gain experience you will find that it takes more than looks to capture a heart.

  5. The Internet and the media has a way of making everyone on it impossibly good looking when for the most part, most people will always have a bit of pudge, a pimple, whatever.

    Don't be a stereotypical shallow gay guy and judge people based on looks alone.

  6. Anonymous: I completely agree with you!!! Thus far, I haven't met a gay guy I have been attracted to. Im flattered that any guy would be attracted to me but if I'm not feeling him I find it completely logical NOT to hook up with that person.

    socrkid17: A slump buster?! BAHAHAHAHAHA that sounds so trashy lol Dude I am so happy both our friends are so cool with it. If only we could go back in time and tell us that when we were sitting outside your hotel :) I'm glad you feel the same way about it too. I'd rather stay prude than have a slump buster anyday of the week

    Scott: You nailed that response on the head! Okay, so this is my exact problem. I haven't been able to find any gay guys who I can connect with in real life. I have met a few gay guys through friends but we have nothing in common...which is the reason I started seeing what grindr was all about.

    fan of casey: ...gaining that experience is the hard part. I don't know where to start. I wish there was a gay dating for dummys manual. A persons personality, beliefs, hobbies and morals are just as important as their appearance.

    Hetero-Challenged: I don't judge anyone based on their looks. I personally wouldn't hook up with someone I am not attracted to though. Sure, I work out & stay in shape, but I don't work out & take care of myself to impress men. I like being healthy. My body is the Lord's Temple. Personality is what matters to me. Sure I want a man who takes care of his body. Why not? I want my future husband to be healthy & fit.

  7. Food for thought:

    -People don't use Grindr to date. The of hook-up culture is looks first, ask questions later. If you want to develop a lasting relationship with someone, that's not the place to go looking for it. That's not to say the internet is bad, but you have to use the proper tools to achieve what you want.

    -Why are you so picky? Do you know the reason behind it? Lots of people work out and take care of themselves who are NOT ripped, so now you have to find out why the ripped quality is of utmost importance - if someone worked out but was not ripped, would you write them off?

    -Why are you picky No. 2: are you picky because you know what you want, or are you picky because you don't want to "let people down?" You certainly seem pretty confused about a lot of things while navigating becoming gay (you and all the other college guys writing misinformed blogs - no offense!), so how can you be so sure of what you want out of someone? Is it really what other people want? Do you want a specific type of person because that seems to be the "best" choice, one that people would accept? Personally, I think a lot of gay men do this thing when they first come out where everything they do has to be perfect, as if they are trying to apologize for being gay. They "apologize" for it by trying to have the hottest boyfriend, the best body, the whatever-est whatever.

    -It's fine to have standards, but the more you have, and the more unrealistic they become (such as modeling your ideal man off of the ideal men in movies/pornography/the modeling industry/gay culture), the more unlikely it will be for you to find someone who fits it.

    I'm not saying just go and fuck anyone, but really examine the things you want to find out WHY you want them. Since this is all new to you, what you want seems pretty average/run-of-the-mill/typical for someone with little experience. People can be less than perfect for your standards but be perfect for you.

    Honestly, you need to get out to where gay people actually spend time and see what happens. Otherwise you cannot really form a realistic set of expectations of other people, and the chemistry of reality just doesn't come through on the internet - you should know that well enough by now based on that guy you met.

  8. Nah you're not being too picky. I used to think I was picky, but then I got too horny to care and my standards dropped. Don't fall into the typical 'slut' phase if you can avoid it..sounds like you're doing a good job already. You'll run into someone you like, and who likes you, eventually. Maybe those guys on grindr will hit you back lol.

    Nice Halloween costume btw :)

  9. It's so cool to see your transformation. it just shows that all my goals are actually attainable. you're an inspiration man so keep it up haha.

    in my very limited experience i think you are doing a good thing with waiting. i didn't, and sometimes i just felt kind of empty or something. keep fighting the good fight, virgin mary haha

  10. Nothing wrong with waiting. At 20, I had kissed a total of two girls and zero guys. Well, OK, one on the cheek. It all worked out fine as I became more mature. Happily I have never had a sexually transmitted disease, whereas gay friends who were more active than I are .... DEAD.