Tuesday, November 22, 2011

People's Reactions to me Coming Out

“Did you get a girl pregnant?” –Ross

“Does this mean you don’t like working out?” –Monica

“I thought you were going to tell us you had cancer!” –Angela

“You’re either gay or you like me...” –Anita

“I knew it! I wish you came to me sooner, so we could have skipped school and talked.” –Patty

“There’s nothing gay about you.” –Tiffany

“Never use KY warming jelly when you’re having sex, it feels like hot diarrhea sliding in and out of your ass.” –Kathleen

“We need a codename for cute guys when we’re together! Buckcherrys!!” -Dorie

“I always wanted to ask a gay guy this. It’s not a choice…is it?” –Mom

“No fucking way! Guys, is he being serious?” –Sabina

“Oh, that’s cool” –Alexis

“Now that I think about it, you never seemed interested when we jokingly turned on porn with the guys.” –Jake

“Can I tell my mom that you’re gay?” -Ryan

“You’re an undercover gay.” –Jill

“Now I can run up to you whenever a hot guy comes into Tropical Smoothie!” -Anamaria

"I always wanted a gay best friend and now I have one!" -Rachel

“You know I love you either way. I don’t care about that stuff.” -Tyler

“He’s seriously too cute to be gay.” Julie and Sam

“You’re one of my best friends, how did I not know this?! My gaydar freaking sucks.” –Angel

“My gay friend and I were looking through your Facebook pictures to determine if you were straight or gay. We concluded you were straight. I’m like a fruit fly, the gay’s just flock to me!” –Kaitlin

“So you like that big black dick in your mouth, eh.” Kelsey

“Well at least I was your first make-out buddy. You’ll never forget me!” –Sammie

“Did you ever think I was gay?” –Kyle

“So are you still going to get married to a girl?” –Sarah

“That makes two of us, I’m bi! Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?” -Julia

7 comments:

  1. Love it! Thanks for the humor.

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  2. AGD: Good comments, some pretty reflective of the generalization and stereotypes many people have. You can break those and be your own man.

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  3. Tyler's comment is the best. Ross, Monica and Sarah seem clueless. Kathleen's comment is good to know but TMI.

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  4. Hey you left me out...I knew it all along. I believe my response was "aha! I win! I totally guessed it!!"

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  5. this is hilarious -- i hear the same things all the time. most of my friends are dudes though, so it's usually like:

    "you're gay? no. no. you're fucking with me. you're gay? no way. wait, are you fucking serious?"

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