Monday, March 6, 2017

Finding Nirvana

Last night I drew until 6 AM. That's how hard I'm trying to make it as an artist. I'm 110% committed, because this path will bring me to my enlightenment in this lifetime.

I woke up so late, like noon, just as my sister arrived at the house after her six mile run along the beach. After making a superfood shot and a smoothie for the two of us, we went outside to talk on the back patio. We began talking about my art and work, particularly about my decision to work three days a week now, which will result in my loss of health insurance. I don't care. I'd rather have an extra day to spend doing art, yoga, meal prepping, reading and blogging. Happiness is more important than health insurance.

But something my sister said to me during our quick conversation, really made me question her authenticity. She said:

"Jeremy, nobody wants to buy art with a random girl on it."

This series is my everything and I know she's wrong. It was a harsh thing to say, which made me realize how little she and I connect. She returned both of the framed drawings I drew for her and completely ignored me when I asked if she wanted to choose her favorite print from the series, to hang in her apartment or office. 

“Don't be discouraged if people don't see your vision, your harvest. All they see from their perspective is that you're watering a whole lot of dirt. They don't SEE what seeds you've been planting with blood, sweat, tears and lack of sleep. Make sure you don't abandon or neglect it because "they" don't see it. You have to KNOW and believe for yourself. They don't see the roots and what's budding under the dirt. But it's okay, because it's NOT meant for them to see it. While you wait, MASTER it. You continue to do YOUR work and have unwavering faith! Remember why you started planting in the first place. Your harvest WILL come!” ― Yvonne Pierre

Shortly after that convo, I went to work...

Today was the first time I ever witnessed someone in the act of stealing. It's a twisted experience. I had just gotten to work and I was assigned to a register my first hour. About thirty minutes into the shift, a couple stepped up in line to pay for their items. I said hi and began ringing their shit up. They looked like people who ride motorcycles and eat at Cracker Barrel five nights a week. They immediately started making small talk with me and I, just as quickly, sensed bad vibes. The man started his speech by informing me how much they love the store. He was like "I could really picture myself working here as well. The people are so friendly and I worked at Publix for twenty years, so I have plenty of experience." I agreed halfheartedly and pointed behind me towards the help desk, where a manager could give him an application. As soon as he came back, he tried covering a box filled with chocolate bars, that was sitting on the end of my register counter. I watched him lower the box into his bag and I immediately went into defense mode.

I looked at him and asked "oh, you're taking those too?" His rebuttal was that he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. BS. The moment they walked away, I told two managers, to ensure they don't hire his ass. That speech was probably just a ploy to distract me and he never actually had any interest in getting a job. HE PROBABLY NEVER WORKED AT PUBLIX EITHER. haha No candy for you, get on your motorcycle and eat your shitty meal at Cracker Barrel. If they were genuine people and desperately needed food, steal something substantial like peanut butter and trail mix. I am so over retail haha SO. OVER. IT.

On a positive note, Sunday is the only day of the week I get to work with my FAVORITE COWORKER, Nikita! She works 12-8 and I work 2-10, so we try to take advantage of the six hours we have together and just enjoy the retail experience for what it's worth. She's not funny, she's fucking hysterical. We were on register one and two together, when a gorgeous man walked through the doors and stopped at the spinning card stand, right by the entrance.

Simultansouly we whisper/scream "cards!" to each other and erupted into laughter for a solid fifteen seconds. We both feel like there's so much more out there in the world for us, so I sent her my resume (I applied for a creepy personal assistant job last year) and we met at Barnes and Noble on Thursday for her to make one and start sending it out. I'm going to miss her so much when she leaves.

Us hiding in the bathroom hahaha

Today is also Michelle's birthday!!!! If you're reading this all the way from New Zealand, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jezebel made me post these!!

It's in these moments, where I feel complete bliss and happiness. Life is about finding people who love you! Have fun. Be goofy! Laugh a lot! Undress people's minds! Grow together and get excited about life! 

I love you guys! 

If you feel inclined, comment something so I can interact with you all!


  1. I needed to read that. I pray that she is wrong. One day I'll be traveling the world and selling my art by the thousands, to the people who see Michelle more than just "a random girl".

    Thanks! She went camping to celebrate :)

    Nikita is a trip. I love her. haha

  2. HOW many people purchased paintings of random people, like the mona lisa, or "the blue boy"? ignore your dumbass sibling; you're selling mona lisas!

  3. Good point! I AM SELLING MONA LISAS!!!! I love that. Thank you for guiding me. I lost my grandma (who I got the tattoo in remembrance of) when I was 16 and my other grandma is a bitter, cold woman. It's cool to have you :)

  4. awwwwwwwwwww (blush)!

    your artwork arrived yesterday; OMB, it's even BETTER in person than on the computer screen! and your sweet note made me cry!

  5. Also, I have a favor to ask of you. Could you give me a review on my Etsy shop for the print? I would love to get your feedback :))