I don’t know about you, but public bathrooms, especially the urinals, can create some awkward moments. For instance, say you walk into a public bathroom and it happens to be really crowded. You look around and all the stalls are taken, all the urinals are occupied EXCEPT for the one right smack dab in the middle, between two other guys. And what's up with the bathrooms that don't even have the urinal dividers?!
Do you wait till another one opens up?
Do you use a stall instead?
Regardless if you're straight, bi or gay, taking a piss while standing two feet away from a complete stranger is uncomfortable. Especially when the guy next to you lacks proper pubic bathroom etiquette.
Let me explain...
One time I had to pee like a racehorse during my drive back to school, so I reluctantly got off at a rest stop and ran in to take a leak. I received a warm welcome by two saggy, hairy butt checks right in my face. An elderly gentleman dropped his pants and boxers to the ground. That's a big no-no.
On two different occasions, I've witnessed men who attempted to make small talk with the dude next to them. I don't know about you, but that's the LAST place I want a guy talking to me.
So how'd you guys meet? "It was love at first sight in the airport bathroom." Haha no
By far the most disgusting urinal experience I ever witnessed was in high school. Some idiot took a dump in the urinal and it was repulsive.
But on the flip side, what do you do when a good looking guy is standing next to you at a urinal?
Do you make eye contact?
Do you sneak a peek?
Do you share a urinal? Kidding lol
I’ll admit, I’ve checked out a few guys’ package’s before. It was only a split second glance, but I couldn’t resist. Haha
If you never put any thought into public bathrooms, follow my urinal etiquette:
Avoid making weird grunting or moaning noises.
Don’t drop your pants to the ground. No one wants to see your ass cheeks, unless you look like Cam Gigandet.
Refrain from standing an obnoxiously far distance from the urinal so everyone in the bathroom has a clear sight of your dingaling.
Don’t wave your wiener around so pee goes everywhere but in the urinal. Although this can get tricky when you’re drunk.
Don’t look around. Either look straight ahead at the wall or down into your urinal.
And finally, flush. Nothing is more delightful than walking up to an available urinal and finding a warm puddle of stale pee in the bowl that smells like a McDonald’s Play Place.