MY ROOMMATE WAS A DRUG DEALER!

My living situation is something else, let me tell you...

I live with three other guys in a 550 square foot apartment. One bedroom, one loft, one bathroom, a tiny kitchen and a mini balcony. There's no privacy. I'm in the loft upstairs, so I hung a huge sheet from the ceiling as privacy. It’s freaking TINY! Sounds cozy, doesn’t it? Haha At least I live two doors down from Angela and the walk to my classrooms is three minutes from my apartment door. It's all about location!

Here’s the kicker, my three roommates Greg, Jacob and Kyle were random. I couldn't find any friends who wanted to live on campus for a third year, who can blame them? Angela was the only friend who also wanted to stay on campus for the convenience factor, so we requested to live near each other and it worked! she lives two doors over! We're next door neighbors again! She and I lived across the hall from each other Freshman year. I'm soooo thankful for that.

I totally lucked out with Greg and Jacob! They are awesome!! Greg and Jacob live down stairs in the bedroom together, but Jacob basically lives with his girlfriend and he's in the apartment 5% of the time. This helps a lot, considering how small of a living space we're in, so one less body makes it more breathable.

Greg is a huge gamer and stoner. He is so lazy but he's absolutely hilarious and by far my favorite. He makes me laugh all the time and he's usually chilling in the apartment and available to talk to when I'm bored. He's really cool but so nerdy. I love it.

Kyle lives up in the loft with me. He's the shady roommate. About three weeks into moving in, I noticed a faint light under his bed at night. Come to find out, he was growing pot in a plaster storage bin under his bed. He was even receiving shipments of pot from his friend who lived in Cali IN THE MAIL. He unopened his shipment of 'Froot Loops' and it was $500 worth of pot, triple sealed in these special airtight bags.

I have never met a human being who smoked as much and as often as Kyle did. Not to mention how we were able to pass every room check/inspection and never got caught. The cops even came up to our room once and we still got away.

The only downside to this whole situation was the constant day-to-day flow of sketchy customers coming in and out of my apartment at all hours of the day. There were people knocking on our door from 8 AM to 2AM, asking for Kyle to pick up weed. He must have banked, because he was hustling and had an extremely steady flow of customers.

I told him just please don't let anyone who's not a close friend upstairs into the loft and I would look the other way and not say anything about his 'business'. He bought prints of my psychedelic art so he was cool in my book. I even got him a customer and hooked him up with my yoga partner, Kaitlin, who was looking for a dealer.

But at this point, he wasn't living in the apartment with us any longer because he was kicked out for flunking. after being on academic probation. Makes sense, I never saw the kid open a book. On several occasions, he dropped acid in the apartment and watched Planet Earth while tripping on the couch.

He didn't tell any of us that he was kicked out. This became an issue, because his apartment key was revoked and he was telling us that he lost it and kept forgetting to replace it. And than he was asking us to leave the door unlocked and I wasn't comfortable doing that. And than right before Winter Break, he asked me if he could borrow mine while I was out of town. I told him to go get a new one, but Greg immediately caught on and knew that he had been kicked out. Sure enough, when I returned from break, 90% of his belongings were gone.

Since Jacob was NEVER at the apartment, except to chill between classes, it was just Greg and I. IT WAS AMAZING! We had so much more room and we didn't have any more sketchy people in the apartment. The vibe and energy in the apartment was so pleasant and enjoyable. Occasionally people would knock on the door, asking for Kyle to pickup weed, but that stopped shortly after. I pushed the beds together upstairs and I was in Heaven. Greg and I had the place to ourselves for about three weeks, until the FUCKING housing department assigned a new roommate to our room.

Kevin.

I can't STAND Kevin. He was relocated to our room after he left his other dorm room, due to conflict with his other roommates. That was an immediate red flag. Kevin is

• messy
• socially awkward
• doesn't support pot
• talks in circles about nothing
• secludes himself
• uses our stuff
• always has his TV blasting upstairs

He absolutely ruined the atmosphere of the apartment. He also does this thing where he’ll ask me what I’m doing or where I’m going, every ten minutes, like he's my mother. Even if I'm just sitting at my desk doing homework, he'll ask me what I'm doing.

He doesn't have any friends, so he tries to latch onto me, but I can't be around him for more than a few minutes. Greg no longer hangs out in the living room because he hates Kevin so much and he stays in his room with the door shut. Kevin has brought so much negativity into the apartment. I'm an extremely patient and kind guy, but Kevin is annoying the fuck out of me. We've politely called him out on numerous occasions, but he doesn't change and it's too late to try and kick him out, because we move out soon.

We went from having a sketchy drug dealer, to the WORST human being of a roommate. I thought we could only go up after Kyle, but apparently Kevin proved us wrong.