Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Let’s take a little journey back to high school. My senior year to be exact. One weekend a group of the neighborhood guys were getting ready to smoke. It was already dark out and I had no plans that night so I joined in. I had to be sneaky about it though and do it behind my parent's backs. We walked over to an elementary school that is centrally located in the middle of all our neighborhoods. There’s an overgrown nature trail all the way in the back, behind the PE fields, so we went back there. Conveniently enough, there was a huge circular bench back there, engulfed by bushes, so we all sat around. One of the guys already had his bong hidden in the bushes nearby, so he cleaned it out, poured fresh water into it we packed it up.

My buddy Jake had never ripped a bong before either, so we both had to get lessons on how to properly hit it. I remember taking a couple big hits and not feeling anything. Jake was saying the same thing, but I they reassure us it would hit hard in a bit. I’m not sure how many bowls we smoked, but I would guess 5 or 6. Everyone was SO HIGH. We just kept passing it around and around. I  couldn't stop laughing and I knew I was stoned.

We joked around for a while, until Jake started panicking out of nowhere. He had to be home by midnight and he lost all sense of time. We were all within a five minute walking distance from our houses and it was only 11:30, so we tried to calm him down. He started wigging out and SPRINTED towards our bikes. I got pissed because we live in the same neighborhood and now I would have to walk home alone. We shouted at him to come back, but he disappeared into the night and the rest of us were too stoned to chase after him. We smoked another bowl and hung out on the nature trail until around 1:30ish.

We went our separate ways and I started walking back to my house. It’s only a five minute walk, but it felt like an adventure. I specifically remember one thing and one thing only from my walk back. I remember having a full on conversation with the fairies from Fairly Odd Parents.

I made it back to my house and as I was walking up the driveway, my cellphone starts vibrating. I look down at the screen and it was my dad. I was out two hours past my curfew. I started panicking. I knew I couldn’t talk to him in that state of mind, so I ignored the call and immediately texted him back saying I was on my way home from Christian's place and I had lost track of time.

I decided to go around the side of my house and wait on the back porch for 5 minutes in hopes he would believe my story and go back to bed. I didn’t want to stay on my driveway, just in case he came outside and waited for me. I navigated my way to my backyard and quietly walked into my back porch. I sat down in one of the chairs and started jamming out to Pink Floyd and Bob Marley. The light from my kitchen turned on from inside my house and I almost had a heart attack. I leaped out of the chair and hid against the wall between my two sliding doors.

To this day, I have never been as high as I was that night. I was crouched along the wall and my heart was beating so fast! I didn’t know if my dad saw me or not. I sat there for a couple minutes and calmed myself down. I stood up, closed my eyes and thought I was in Hawaii surfing on a wave. I started moving my body around as if I was shredding waves on a surfboard.

There was a portable fan on the table that I was standing next to. I smacked it with my hand and the thing flew off the table and smashed onto the floor. The bang could have been heard from down the street. I have never come so close to peeing in my pants!

I got down into a fetal position and hid behind the table. My mom ran over to the sliding door and turned the back patio lights on. She thought I was a burglar and had the phone in her hand, ready to call the police!

I thought my life was over. I got to my feet and looked into the house with my bloodshot eyes, as my parents stared back. It was the most awkward moment of my life. My dad screamed from through the door, “Kid, what the hell are you doing, I thought you were at Christian's!?”(My parents nicknamed me “Kid’). Hahahahahaha

My mom opened up the sliding door and waited for an answer. I looked at them and will never forget the words that came out of my mouth. “I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m going to bed.” And that was it. I walked past them, darted to my room, locked the door, threw on my headphones and passed out.

The next morning I woke up I was terrified to leave my room, seriously horrified. I walked into the kitchen and of course my dad was sitting at the table doing office work. I refused to make eye contact with him. I grabbed the first thing I saw in the cabinet and tried to scurry back to my room. My dad said my name in the sternest voice. I sat there and had no idea what was in store for me. He got out of his chair and asked me “So how long you been smoking pot for?”

I almost busted out laughing. I was sick of smoking behind their backs, so I was completely honest with him. I told him I started smoking sophomore year over winter break. Then he goes “well I don’t know what your mother is going to say about this!”

I looked at him and got really confused. I told him that I thought mom would be a lot cooler about it than he would be. He almost got flustered by that comment and said “Oh, well, I had my fair share of smoking in college!” Bingo! That’s all I needed to hear. I started rolling with that. I was like “woahh Dad, you? No way, that’s awesome!” He tried to get back into ‘intimidating parent mode’ but I was way too thrilled from what he said to me.

He left to go run errands and then my mom came home from Publix. She walked in the door and immediately smiled at me and started laughing. “Kid, were you drunk, high or both last night?” I told her I was really high and we laughed over what my dad had said to me earlier. I had asked her a month or two before this whole thing happened if she ever smoked as a teenager, but her response was always “I was too good for that stuff or I tried it once in my life but it hurt my throat from coughing” This time she said "I may have had a few encounters with it as well." Hahaha

I freaked out and started screaming “You liar! You told me you never did!” My mom just kind of smirked and the entire time I was asking her about her burn sessions with her friends from back in the day. It was such a funny conversation. She said she smoked a couple times but every time they smoked, it was from a joint and she didn’t enjoy the heat/burning sensation on her mouth so she stopped.

After the conversation ended she said “you know there’s still going to be a punishment.” Fair enough, I did come home way after my curfew, so I had every right to get grounded. Butttt I never did get any punishment whatsoever for that night. Hahahaha

A couple days later I called up my brother and sister and told them about my crazy ass adventure and they were DYING! They would have never been able to get away with all the stuff I do. It totally pays off to be the baby in the family.

I told all my friends about that night and a few of them still joke about it to this day, "so you going surfing tonight?" Hahaha

That is a memory that I'll never forget. I thought my parents were going to flip a shit if they found out I smoked, but lo and behold, they were so chill.

So here’s a toast to my parents. That one day my entire family will sit around the family room and light up a bowl and get high together.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Ouija Board Experience

These boards have always creeped me out. I believe in spirits, both good and bad, and I never wanted to play with the unknown. As a matter of fact, my parents would never let my siblings and I play with one when we were growing up. I was always told you could conjure up evil spirits. My sister bought an Ouija board from a garage sale way back in the day and my dad found out about it and immediately threw it away.

One weekend, when there wasn't any party or event to go to, we all stayed in and hung out in the atrium. Shelby started making an Ouija board and we found a blank cd to use as the moveable piece aka the planchette. None of us had ever used one, so we looked up how to play and discovered a list of strict rules you have to follow.

The board has to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ on the upper right and left hand corners. The center of the board has the alphabet, followed by the numbers 0 through 9 beneath it and the words ‘hello’ and ‘good bye’ on the bottom corners.

1) Never play alone

2) Don’t let any spirits escape

3) Place silver on the board

4) Never ask about God

5) Always say "goodbye" and don't stop playing until the planchette moves to 'Goodbye' to close the portal.

We turned all the lights off and closed the blinds. Angela, Shelby and Kyle were brave enough to play, while everyone else stood around and watched. Candles aren’t allowed in the dorms, so we had to substitute it by turning the bathroom light on and cracking the door for a little bit of light. The three players introduced their names and welcomed any presence into the room. The first couple times nothing really happened and then that planchette came to life out of nowhere.

My friends who were playing kept asking each other if the other two were moving the cd, but they all barely had the tip of their fingers on the cd. Everyone in the room could vouch for them that none of them were moving the CD. They asked if there was a presence among them and the CD slid across the paper to ‘yes’. Then they asked what the name of the spirit was. It spelled out ‘Job’. Oddly enough, Job is a prophet of God in the Bible. The spirit was really friendly and after a few minutes they said goodbye to Job and the CD slid over to ‘Goodbye’.

I guess news that we we’re playing with an Ouija board had spread throughout the dorms, because a group of other people wanted to play as well. So we took it upstairs and into a room that had about 7 or 8 people chillen in it. We set it up, told them the rules and started the game. This time there were a couple more people participating with the planchette.

After a few minutes they got in contact with a spirit and started asking it questions. The freakiest part was when one of the guys asked it to make a noise to prove it was there. A noise came from inside the bathroom and no one was in there and the atrium of the dorm was completely quiet. I was standing closest to the bathroom so that freaked me out a bit. They asked the spirit how it passed away and it spelt out a 'car crash'. Then they asked it its name and it spelled out a woman’s name. Immediately, one of the girls who was participating in the game jumped up and sprinted out of the room, hysterically crying. Everyone freaked out! We had no idea what had just happened, until later in the night when one of her friends told everyone that her mom had the same name that the spirit spelled out and she died in a car accident. That freaked us out, so we crumbled up the board and threw it out.

I would not recommend playing this game. Haha My friends and I did some research on other people’s experiences with Ouija boards and a few of the stories are SO CREEPY!!! Like demonic shit that you don't want. I am so happy we had nothing scary happen to us, or else my friends would have been screwed. I will never play with one nor do I have any desire to. The game has trouble written all over it…

If you have played an Ouija board before, I would love to hear you’re experience with it!

Monday, April 11, 2011

40 things you don't know about me!

1. I had surgery on the back of my left calf when I was four and now I have a six inch scar.
2. My art teacher chose my artwork among all the 2nd grade classes and displayed it in an art exhibit.
3. When I was little I drew all over my bathroom wall with a red crayon.
4. I won student of the month every year in elementary school.
5. I have an obnoxiously large nutcracker collection.
6. I had perfect attendance in 7th and 8th grade.
7. I was sent to the office with Sean and Anita for smoking before school.
8. I only received one detention and one referral my entire life. Both in 8th grade
9. I got a misdemeanor on Halloween two years ago for underage drinking at the FL/GA game
10. I have never been in a fight.
11. I absolutely love instigating people
12. In 8th grade I had morning sickness for a month and threw up almost every morning
13. I'm scared to lose my virginity
14. In 10th grade I ALMOST stole my dad's church keys to bake pot brownies in the church kitchen.
15. I was one of 13 seniors at my high school to be selected into the AP Studio Art class.
16. I brought a cheat sheet into all my Trigonometry tests.
17. In 10th grade Anita, Patty and I made a video for our Spanish II class and we won first place.
18. In 8th grade my health teacher held an art contest for Drug Awareness and my group won.
19. To this day, my family sits down together for dinner every night and we talk.
20. I pissed the bed until 3rd grade
21. I have almost been arrested four times
22. I gave my neighbor a golden shower when I was eight and threw up on my pledge brother
23. I have never been pulled over, knock on wood
24. In high school my friends and I video taped an autistic kid pop lock and dropping it.
25. I am incredibly shy before I get to know you.
26. I won 1st place at my YMCA's Ironman competition.
27. The first time I got drunk was in 9th grade in Gainesville for my brother's college graduation.
28. I had a hamster named Bell and a turtle named Bubupachu.
29. I am scared of the dark, snakes and large bodies of water.
30. The only bone I ever broke was my hand while playing football in the neighborhood
31. When I was little I would smear my boogers on the walls
32. I have perfect vision but still want green colored contact lenses 
33. In high school I stole over $100 worth of clothes from Bealls.
34. I have never tried Root Beer
35. My parents found me high on my back porch after I smoked a bong.
36. I believed in Santa Claus till high school.
37. I absolutely love movies. Maybe because I wish my life was one.
38. I have THE WORST sense of direction.
39. I started two fights. Patty and I told Angel that Ricky called her a heifer and they got in a fist fight at the bus stop. Another time I told Patty to hit Christian in the face (he had just got braces that morning). She smacked him and he speard her to the ground.
40. I backpacked the Grand Canyon.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Mellow Mushroom

Whenever I come across a picture of a child with cancer, whether its on TV, on the internet or some other media source, I feel so sad and guilty. However, when you see things through a screen, it really doesn't do itself justice, as opposed to seeing there children in person. Never in my life had I seen a child in a public setting who was going through chemotherapy.

I had been meaning to run over to Mellow Mushroom to buy a shirt. I was giving an informative speech on magic mushrooms in my speech class, so I thought having a shirt to wear while I presented would be I just really wanted a shirt. Ha

Once I entered, a young mom and her son were talking to the Hostess, so I patiently waited behind them. The young boy was holding his mother's hand and inquisitively looking at the psychedelic artwork on the side of the greeter's podium, which was at his eye level. He turned around, looked up at me and gave me the biggest smile. He smiled with his eyes, it's a rare smile to receive from a stranger nowadays. I returned a smile as my heart literally dropped.

I know staring is rude, but I couldn't stop myself from doing so. He looked like he was about five or six years old, bald and had a small tube that traveled into his nose, that I presumed to be his oxygen tube. I watched him as he giggled with his mom and smiled at all the random people who passed him. He had such a vibrant little soul. I paid for my shirt, left the restaurant and ran to my car. Dudes, I'm not usually an emotional person, but this little man left a lasting impression on me. I sat in my car and cried. Watching the amount of pure happiness and innocence that boy had, regardless of all the hardships I'm sure he has gone through in his short life, made me appreciate life a lot more and everything I've been blessed with.

I have never had any serious health issues and I can't imagine how horrible that must be for a child and their family to endure. 

“It's not the size of the person in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the person.”

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


So I've been thinking about relationships recently. Just in general. I honestly think that love is the hardest thing for human beings to master. Even the brightest and most intelligent people fail at it.
And what about love at first sight? Does that really exist? If you haven't talked to someone, than you are solely attracted to that person's looks. I may be smitten by someone and get a really good first impression, but how do you know if it's love at first sight. Like you know those stories where the person says "I knew from the moment I met her that I was going to marry her" but how do some people just know? I honestly don't understand it.

And what about finding your soul mate. There are over 7 billion people living on Earth right now. Let's say the gender ratio is even, with 3.5 billion of those people being male. This is a total guess-timation but out of those 3.5 billion males, lets say about 400 million are between my dating age range of 19-25. Let's narrow that down even further; of those 400 million guys, say 1/8 of them are gay. That leaves us with 50 million potential bachelors. Let's say out of those 50 million guys, I am really compatible with every 50th guy. That means I could happily date a million men, according to my flawless calculations haha

So with that being said, do you think there is only one person out there that could be your soul mate, or do you think there are a plethora of people who could be?

"Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Birthday Festivities, DG Formal and Coming Out x2!

This weekend was so much fun! Technically my weekends start at approximately 4:20 hehe on Thursday afternoons after my statistics class ends. Amen to no Friday classes! Thursday afternoon I went over to Matt's apartment (my old roommie) and came out to him. It was so funny. I was sitting on the stool as he was making an omlette. After laughing about crazy times from last year, I told him there was something important I had been meaning to tell him. From there I just said it. I will never forget this. He looks at his food, up at me, says "oh, thats cool.", and back at his food. It was so tight! He didn't give a shit. We talked about it for awhile and went right back to just chillen like usual. After I left he sent me a text saying that hes always here for me and if I ever need to talk about anything, to hit him up whenever. I love him!

For my birthday on Friday, some friends and I went to the most delicious pizza restuarant! I fed my face at Mellow Mushroom. If you've never been to a Mellow Mushroom, you need to go! Not only is the food DELSIH, but the artwork and atmosphere of the restaurant is amazing. The one we we're at had an enitre Alice in Wonderland mural, but the faces of the characters were music legends. There's also giant mushroom statues.


Anyways, after dinner I smoked a birthday bowl with my roommate Ryan and Mich and we watched Gabriel Iglesias standup. Dude is hysterical! We got so high and spent fifteen minute debating over what animal we would rather ride in a tornado. I said a fluffy raccoon, because they're small and aerodynamic, but she insisted a cow was more logical because you could hold on and their body would act as a shield. Hahaha I think she won.
On Saturday, I woke up around 10 and did homework until 2 and started getting ready for the Delta Gamma Formal.

My friend Sammie had asked me to be her date and I of course agreed to go! She was the FIRST friend I made at UNF! We went over to her sorority sister's apartment to pregame and take pictures for an hour or so. We got soooo drunk haha

Look at her eyes haha

After that we headed to the student union where party limos we're waiting to escort us.

Kelsey aka Elmo, because she fake tans so much and always looks burnt haha
The drive to the hotel was probably the best part of the entire night! The bus was packed with people, everyone was drunk and the music was pumpin'! We arrived at a really fancy hotel where we we're led into a huge ballroom with tables set up and a dance floor in the middle of the room. Have you guys ever seen a chocolate fountain before?? They had a huge one there and I felt like such a fatty because I ate so much from it. They had fresh strawberries, pretzels, rice Krispy treats, nutter butters, Oreos and a few other snacks to dip into the fountain. It was so bomb!

However, since the other party buses broke down, our bus was the only one there for almost two hours. haha I didn't care at all but a lot of the sisters seemed pissed off. As everyone waited for the rest of the people to arrive, people took pics in the photo booths and waited in line to get their caricature drawn.

After we did all that, I decided this was a good time to come out to Sammie. We walked over to a corner table with no one around and I told her I was gay. I told her everything and she sat there with the biggest smile. The first thing out of her mouth was "why didn't you tell me sooner!!" It was the best talk we had ever had together. I love her to death. Once everyone showed up, we we're immediately seated and served dinner. Sammie and I got grilled chicken, scallop potatoes and steamed veggies. The other option was pasta and red sauce(which didn't look as appetizing).

Not going to lie, two of the guys at our table we're really good looking. Especially the one seated next to me! :) Once dinner was done, we watched the sisters receive awards (Sammie got one!) and then hit the dance floor for the rest of the night. DG Formal was epic.

My weekends are all going to be crazzzzy all the way up until the beginning of Summer. Next weekend I'm going to Kappa Delta's Formal with Angela and my friend Shelby is coming into town so we're all raging with her and Nikki!!

The weekend after that I'm going camping in Orlando at the Springs with Mich. The weekend after that I'm hermiting and studying for finals. Meh. And the weekend after that I'm stopping in Orlando on my way home for Summer for Shelby's 20th birthday! Her parents are getting all of us a presidential suite in one of the O-town hotels. AHHHHH! Get dat Pinnacle ready, Guita!