Sunday, September 19, 2010


Flashback to the end of Freshman year...

It was such a bitter sweet feeling as I stood in my empty door room. I had completed my freshman year of college and it literally went by with a snap of a finger. I happened to be one of the last of my friends to leave campus on departure day and I honestly didn’t want to leave. I had so much fun with my new friends and I wanted to stay for an extra six months. My parents snapped me back to reality as they pulled up and I left my dorm building for the last time, filled with so many amazing memories. Freshman year was suchhhh a blast.

Instead of driving back home (South Florida) we drove from Jacksonville to Tallahassee. My sister Monica was graduating from Florida State University with an Accounting degree. At the last second, my brother Ross decided to join the festivities and flew in for the weekend from AZ. It was so much fun to have all five of us reunited and be able to celebrate a special time in my sister’s life.

The next morning, my brother flew back to Arizona while my parents started the trek back home. Monica and I stayed to pack up the remainder of her stuff and to chill in Tallahassee one more night. The next morning we LOADED her little Volvo up to the brim and hit the road bright and early.

About three hours into the drive, we were passing through Gainesville. We were cruising on I-75 with one thing on our minds, getting home! My sister was driving, while I was messing around with my iPod in the passengers seat. Within a split second, the car started shaking and we were driving over the rumble strips (aka the sleeper lines) and she started screaming my name. I popped my head up and saw a van, within arms reach, drifting all the way into our left-hand lane.

We plummeted into I-75’s median going 80 miles an hour. All I could do was scream “BRAKE!” and hold on for dear life. I glared through the windshield, as trees spun around the car like the 'trees' in car washes. Miraculously, the car went from drifting and doing donuts, to stopping out of nowhere. My heart had never been beating that fast in my entire life. Luckily, my sister and I were both unharmed and her car had very little damage.

The idiot who pushed us off the highway pulled over, as well as a witness. The guy tried to do everything in his power to make it sound like we were at fault. Luckily, a cop came to the rescue and immediately took our side. We couldn’t press charges even if we wanted to, since our cars never actually touched during the incident. It’s known as ‘preventing an accident’ or something like that. And to make matters worse, it was about 90 degrees outside and we had to uncover her spare tire through a completely packed car and drive to Pep boys.

Turns out my brother's best friend was managing a hotel about ten minutes down the road and he put us up in a free room for the night, somewhere in the outskirts of Gainesville.

Once my sister and I did eventually make it home, the following days I played the car accident in my head over and over again. I came to a conclusion that I could not die without someone knowing me, completely knowing me. I had to tell someone I was gay. It was quite an interesting epiphany.

This past Summer, starting with the car accident, has completely changed my life. I came out to my  brother shortly after and I feel like this happened for a greater purpose than I could see at the time.

Did God use this experience to open my eyes and tell me I need to really start living? If I didn’t have that near death experience, I wouldn’t have learned how fragile life is and how much we need to embrace and enjoy it while it lasts. I honestly believe I would still be in the closet and continue driving down the wrong road if it weren't for this day.

Most people consider a car accident a tragedy, but I consider mine a gift from God...


  1. love the way you look at things. so positive!! i like that ;)

  2. Amazing Gay Dude -- that's my new nickname for you! You are amazing and I know others feel the same way. It is with insight and thoughtful reflection that life's lessons are revealed to us. You took that lesson and made a positive difference with it. You have your whole life ahead of you, make it a happy and productive one and your gift that day on the highway will produce many dividends into the future.

  3. AGD: Can you do me a favor. I've always wanted to comment on your buddy's socrkid17 blog but he doesn't allow anonymous or name posting -- can you see if he can turn on that feature? Thanks.

  4. hey fan of casey! i really love your comments and you seem like you know a lot about the situation that me and AGD are in but i have no idea why it wont let you comment. for some reason i cant even click you name to view your profile. i have never had problems like this before. im tryin to figure it out but if you have any suggestions let me know!!

  5. Sorry AGD, we are going to have to use your comments as intermediary. socrkid17: It must have something to do with how you setup your comments preferences on Blogger. If you look at AGD's comment options, he's got a list of 6 different choices (which I can't use) and also Name/URL and Anonymous options. On your blog site, only the 6 different choices pop up. You can't click on my name because I don't have any of those type of accounts listed to link to. I'd sure like to interact with you if I can.

  6. ya i have no idea how to edit them. i have tried to look through my settings to change them but i dont ever remember doing anything to set certain restrictions for comments. but you can email me at

  7. I spent an hour that I should have been studying reading through your archives. I'm a junior in college but I feel like you're miles ahead of me in the process of being open and comfortable with who you are, and it makes me kind of jealous.

  8. hey, I have a question, do you go to the University of North Florida?

  9. oh crap, no you don't. UF, you go to the same school my brother goes to!