Later that afternoon, I went to check out Angela's new apartment that she got on campus. During that visit, I mentioned the same thing to her, that I had to tell her something important about someone we knew, but I had to tell her with Benton. Same reaction, she begged to know right than and there, but I refused.
That evening, my fraternity initiated the summer pledge class. It was a drag. After it ended, Benton and I left the fraternity function and drove over to Angela's apartment. I knew one of them would obviously bring it up once we got there. We were just chilling in her room and about five minutes later, Benton stabs me with the question. "Alright, now that we're both here, tell us what's so important".
My heart began pounding like I had just chugged ten Red Bulls. Angela's apartment is setup in a way that she and another girl share a loft upstairs, but there isn't any privacy and I didn't want her roommate overhearing. I panicked and said "I'll tell you guys on the balcony," as I was already half way down the stairs. I guess I'm good at creating awkward situations, because when they walked out on the balcony, I was a step from fainting and they were staring at me like I was nuts. I told Benton to shut the door behind him, because the news was private. I knew at this point there was no turning back...
"The person I need to tell you guys about is me". Angela put her hands over her mouth and Benton kept asking "what, what, what?" I guess my emotions got the best of me because I was on the verge of crying. Angela said she was going to start crying if I started, so I composed myself. She jumps in and blurts out "you're a virgin?!" I laughed and said that I was but that wasn't what I needed to get off my chest.
I told them that I considered them my two best friends at school and what I was about to tell them was really personal. They stared at me with such intensity, to the point it felt like they were piercing into my soul. I looked up at them and just said it "Guys, I'm gay."
I tried to begin explaining, but they both started hugging me. At that second, it felt like the biggest weight had been lifted. They were both shocked, yet understanding. Being a straight acting, gay guy is so hard on so many levels. They began looking back and reflecting on past events, that kind of made the puzzle pieces align.
It was so cool to know that two of my friends know that I am gay! They didn't really ask me that many questions, which I was wasn't expecting. However, I did ask them if they ever suspected or thought I was gay and they simultaneously said "never". Benton did come up to me and ask if the words queer, homo, fag, 'that's gay', etc. offends me. They also asked me if I have ever done anything with a guy, which I have not...yet.
In the end, telling them was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I love them like a brother and sister and trust them completely. I just want to keep telling people, but pray I get the same, supportive reactions!