I'm quitting my Frat because it SUCKS FAT FUCKING COCK. It feels so nice to have come to this glorious realization.
So let's get into it:
This past week was RUSH for Greek life on campus. For those of you who don't know what that is, every Fraternity on campus sets up booths with their flashy letters and all the bothers wear their matching shirts, Croakies and Sperry's to recruit guys into pledging. I find it ridiculous but I got wrapped up into it myself because so many of my friends were. Each evening, our Fraternity has a RUSH event where the "potentials" are given a time and location and they get the 'privilege' (LOL) to hang out with the brothers. It's all so shallow and superficial.
Last night was 'Interview Night'. All the brothers sit in the Senate Chambers, we dim all the lights and bring the potentials in one-by-one and interview them. It's extremely intimidating and so stupid.
After each interview, the brothers deliberate and vote on each guy, which ultimately decides whether or not he gets a bid to become a pledge. One specific potential was escorted into the room, did his interview and he left. A brother thought he was gay, so he didn't give him a vote and said something along the lines of "he looks like a faggot, he'll probably come out of the closet during his pledge ship." Who the fuck cares if he is and decides to come out? Ugh It's people like him and comments like that which make guys fearful of coming out. I can't stand ignorance like that.
This created small talk amongst some of the brothers. An older, extremely douchey brother was sitting right behind me and goes "We said that last semester and now some of them are sitting among us." And then under his breath he goes "for instance, the guy in the fourth row, second seat."
I was sitting in the fourth row, second seat. I wanted to walk out at that very moment and never look back, but I didn't have the guts and I sat in my chair teary eyed and pretended like I didn't hear him. He said it loud enough so people definitely heard it. I had been nothing but friendly to this guy, but clearly he didn't like me because I didn't 'fit in' to his liking.
It was in that moment that I decided to quit.
I don't enjoy going to fraternity events anyways and I hate going to chapter with a passion. Don't get me wrong, I really love some of the brothers that I've met and gotten to know, but that's not a good enough reason to pay $950 a year for. I'll just chill with them on my own time. The last check I gave them will be the last check they ever receive from me.
I'm thankful for the experience and I'm proud of myself for pushing out of my comfort zone, but this is clearly not for me. There's 17,000 students at my school, I won't have a problem meeting new people. Especially ones that I want to be around and vice versa.
So fuck you Greek Life, you're a joke.
I QUIT.
well unfortunately it seems there is a few assholes who already "talk shit" about you. If you don't want to be there you don't have to. Do your own thing and try to not worry as much what other people think. (easier said than done)
ReplyDeleteFor whatever reason there will always be people that you don't get along with. If you decide those people are in your frat and you don't want to be there anyway, why stick around just to avoid awkwardness? Like you said, look out for yourself first. Good luck
That was really shitty of the dude sitting behind you and the other guy. I was essentially gonna say what Taylor said. You gotta do what makes you happy and live your life for yourself. If you’re not happy in your frat, then there’s no shame in cutting bait. It’s not worth the stress, money (which btw your dues are ridiculous), and time commitment if you don’t like 85% of the people you’re around. Hell, the bullshit (i.e. Rush, chapter, meetings) is barely worth it if you like 95% of the people. Why put yourself through that if you don’t like the people you’re with? Greek life’s not about the bullshit I listed above, but the relationships forged putting up w/ the bullshit. So if you don’t like the people you’re around, then it’s not worth it. Don’t let your frat or some the assholes in it ruin your college experience, but don't let yourself ruin it either by sticking around when you really don't want to.
ReplyDeleteYou said one thing though which made me take pause, “maybe I need to get to know the brothers more.” If you don’t feel like you know these guys more than the superficial stuff (i.e. brother X likes fishing, country music and pounding 40s of cheap beer), then how do you know if you really don’t like them or have nothing in common with them? It’s not necessarily worth a 950$ experiment if you haven’t paid your dues yet for the semester/year, but if there’re guys you love being around who like these guys, maybe you’re missing something. Or I could be completely off base.
Keep your chin up dude (and sorry that was so long).
No need to be in something you hate. Life is way too short and college doesn't need to suck like that. Find some guys you connect with. You'll be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteWalk straight up to the guy who made that comment about the fourth row and second seat and ask him exactly this...
ReplyDelete"I noticed when we met last you mentioned something about me being in the fraternity. Is there an issue with me being here?"
Bringing it up POINT BLANK will catch him off guard and make him actually think about what he said. I don't any of your brothers dislike you.
Yeah, you might have different interests than a few of them, or you might be a little more quiet than they are, but you guys are a group. Out of 60 people, you'll always find 3 or 4 that you don't like. Maybe this kid is in that group.
I would honestly just bring it up randomly as soon as you can before the moment dies down in not only your head, but his as well.
yo man. I'm sorry to hear that. Hows school going overall? You might not have same interests with others in your frat but maybe you should give them a chance. Try to get along w/ them but if that doesn't work then just focus on school or another frat. Hope your having a blast b/c college is most important part of your life! I miss it a ton.
ReplyDeleteIm not going to comment back to each one of you individually. Instead, Ill speak in general. As of now I decided I am going to stick it out for the rest of the semester. I dont want to make any irrational decisions. Yes, there are obviously brothers who dont like me, but Im going to continue being nice to them and hang around the brothers I do enjoy. If I am still unhappy by the end of the semester, Im hittin the hills. I already talked to my mom about it and she is by my side no matter what decision I choose which is relieving!
ReplyDeleteI am not letting this damper my expiereince in college. Life IS to short to be around people you dont like. My freshman year flew by and I do deserve to be having the time of my life! :)
To AGD and anyone else: A Life's Lesson which I'm still teaching myself.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many people we run across in life. We will never have time to get to know them enough. (We barely get to know ourselves.) When someone speaks ill of us, you just have to wonder why, and maybe leave it at that. Was their comment really about me anyway? Or do they have something going on in their life that they need to act like a loser. Its not always about me. Pray for them if you can, or if not just get on with your own stuff. It isn't ignoring a problem. Sometimes it really is better to just let it go, to try to keep it from becoming your problem too.
I know all too well about the "Gay Paranoia" feeling. "Do I give off a gay signal?" "Am I that easy to read?" "Do they all know about me and talk and laugh (or worse)?" The answer is 99 and 44/100ths percent: not really, no.
Maybe that guy is jealous/envious. Maybe he's trying to puff himself up to impress someone else. Maybe he subconsciously likes you and a mean comment is his dysfunctional way of getting you to notice him. Maybe he's threatened by you. Maybe all of these things. Who knows...
You don't have to give everyone a chance. But dismissing everyone doesn't work either. I know that last one all too well.
You seem like a secretly very popular kid, AGD. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You seem to want to convince yourself that you are shy and quiet. I don't think you are. Don't confuse those with thoughtful and sensitive (as in thinking deeply and feeling intensely.) You already have shown that you own more courage than most of us can dream of having. And you have wonderful friends who did not abandon you when you gave them the worst news you had to offer at the time.
We cannot make everyone like us, even though they should.